An Excellent Wife – A Man’s Perspective

My sweet husband, DAVID PENLEY, is sharing with us today. I am linking up with Woman-to-Woman on and thought I’d get the husband’s perspective on the scripture of the week: Proverbs 31:10.

Men, what is of great value to you?

A new Ferrari or Porsche (my dream car as a teen)? A high-paying job that you’ll be respected for? A son who quarterbacks for the Dolphins or Cowboys or (enter your favorite football team here)? Or maybe a son who is the winning pitcher in game seven of the World Series or wins the Masters? A summer home on the lake or oceanfront or in the mountains? All of the above and more? You get my point.

D's Jewel Collage

What about your wife? Is she of great value to you?

A godly, committed, faithful wife is worth more than all of those things combined.

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.” – Proverbs 31:10

She is quite a treasure, “far above jewels,” and I am to look at her and treat her as such. I am to see her as being of greater worth than the most valuable thing I can think of.

God tells us how to cherish our wives throughout His Word, but my favorite command has become the simple, yet profound words in Ephesians 5:25-26: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

We men talk about loving our favorite teams, our jobs, our cars, and so on. But that kind of love is not what is mentioned here. The word translated love is the same word found in John 3:16: For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” It is also found in Ephesians 5:2:Walk in love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”

This is real love—sacrificial love. It is putting our wives’ needs, desires, good, well-being, above our own. It means spending time with her, talking to her, doing things she wants to do, even if it means putting our desires aside. It sometimes means not watching that game we think is so important. (And we are blessed to have technology today so we can record it to watch at a later time.) It means making a sacrifice in order to show love to our wives.


A little over a year ago, I was hit with an illness that nearly killed me. I was in a coma for a while, my heart stopped, and my doctor actually used the word “miracle” when later telling me what he thought my chances of survival were at the time. My life has been changed forever. My speech has been effected to the point where I cannot preach and teach with great clarity—the two things I have done all my adult life. I was a prime candidate for depression and feeling sorry for myself.

I am convinced that two people kept that from happening. One is the Lord, who has been with me, healed me, encouraged me, and empowered me. The other person is the wife He blessed me with.

God has used my wife tremendously throughout my life, but He has used her in incredible ways over the last year. I would wake up in the hospital in the middle of the night to see her lying on the pull-out bed when she could have been much more comfortable at home. I heard her encouraging voice and words every day. She took me to my speech and physical therapy sessions and made sure I did my workouts at home. She held my hand and rubbed my shoulders when she knew I needed it. I could go on and on.

I knew I was a man blessed by God with the wife He had given me, but I saw this reality in a whole new light. I truly have “an excellent wife” whose “worth is far above jewels.” If nothing else, all of this has been worth it just to realize this.

I have certainly not been the husband I should have been through it all. I have had moments of frustration and have taken it out on her. But I now pray God’s Word every day with a sincere heart like never before: May I love Sabra just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. And please use me, Lord, to sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. The Lord knows my heart and knows these are not just words to me. I mean this with all my heart. My wife truly is a precious jewel to me.

I pray that we husbands realize the blessing we have in our wives. They are worth far more than any earthly treasure.

How can each of us show his wife how precious she is to us? Praying with her and studying God’s Word together is a good place to start. The excellent wife spoken of here will welcome this.


Take some time to think about your wife’s interests and activities she enjoys. What things has she mentioned in the past that she would like to do with you? If you aren’t sure, spend some time with her and ask her. Then lay aside those things that get in the way of enjoying her company and show her love—the kind of love Christ has for us.

Our wives are indeed precious jewels. Let’s make sure they are treasured.


All Scripture from New American Standard Bible.

Ferrari F50 by Axion23 via flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Clayton Kershaw by Bryce Edwards via flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Eagles vs. Cowboys by Billy Bob Bain via flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Hallstatt by Sander Hoogendoorn via flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Couple on the Lakefront by Don Harder via flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0)
Kiss Me by Shutter Fotos via flickr (CC BY-NC 2.0) 




Filed under Love, Marriage, Sacrifice, Thankfulness, Wife, Woman-to-Woman

6 responses to “An Excellent Wife – A Man’s Perspective

  1. Sabra and David, this is incredible. David, you are still teaching and preaching through these words in writing. Many need to read them. You blessed me in sharing them. Thank you. Continuing to pray for you both!


  2. Susan

    Thank you both for reminding me of the precious gift God has given me in my husband Steve. It is so easy to take him for granted. Thank you for sharing from your heart.


  3. Oh my soul, this is beautiful. I’m in tears. And this, “If nothing else, all of this has been worth it just to realize this.” What a thought coming from a man who has lost so much, only to realize he has so much in spite of his loss. What a blessing to see a man who is devoted to God and his wife and not ashamed of either. Blessings to you both. Surely God will continue to use your story to affect many lives…so many need these words. Thank you for sharing them here! Blessings, Meredith


    • Sabra here. David isn’t much into the online community thing (yet…ha!) I must say that it has been an amazing journey. Seeing the way God has spoken peace and purpose into David’s life in the midst of what he has experienced (and indeed is still experiencing) has been a wonder. God truly works in mysterious ways. And we have been so blessed to see His hand at work in our lives and watch Him transform our hearts. Thank you for your sweet comments, Meredith.


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