Lord, am I willing?

Lord, am I willing?

Willing to follow You wherever you lead? Willing to do those things that I REALLY don’t want to do? Willing to say yes, no matter what?

This is the message You have been sending me these past months. This willingness to let go of SELF and live in beautiful freedom of following YOU!

But it has been a struggle, Lord. You know it has. You have watched as I have chosen to indulge myself on my desires and my “wisdom.” You have heard my internal dialogue go back and forth between what I know in my heart I should do and what my heart would rather do—give in to its deceitful desires.

Deceitful. Oh, yes. My heart is deceitful.

I know this. I have even put to memory Jeremiah 17:9: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” And yet I forget.

I can justify an action so quickly it’s frightening. Those conversations that play out in my mind—the debates about what to do—happen with lightning speed.

I need a warning siren…an internal noisy blast that says, “STOP! You are about to enter a danger zone!” Something so piercingly obnoxious that I cannot ignore. Like a signal from heaven that I am heading in the wrong direction.

Of course, Lord, Your Holy Spirit is my warning siren. But somehow I have turned down the volume until, at times, He is almost muted to my heart.

Forgive me, Lord! I want to be willing to follow Your every step for my life. Help me remove my hand from the controls and allow me to hear Your Holy Spirit’s voice and warnings and heed Your desires for my life.

Help me, Father, to deny myself and be willing—to desire and act on that desire—to follow You, fully and completely. Silence those internal conversations. Let the only words spoken in my heart be, “Yes, Lord.” In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

My dear friends, the above post is an exercise in free writing, in conjunction with Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Fridays. Each week Lisa-Jo presents a word prompt. This week, it is willing. The idea is to write for five minutes (well, maybe mine is a little more for now) about this one word, whatever is on my heart. It’s an exercise in quickly putting thoughts into words. And, oh, how I need this! I don’t know if I’ll post one every Friday, but when I do, you will see the button below:

Five Minute Friday

I’m linking up with other bloggers on LisaJo Baker’s website: http://lisajobaker.com/. And if you’re interested in reading what others have written, please click on the button. You’ll find Lisa Jo’s own post and below it links to many other blogs. Thanks for reading! My regular weekly post will be up tomorrow.
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11 Comments

Filed under Five Minute Friday, Sacrifice, Self

11 responses to “Lord, am I willing?

  1. Love this Sabra! The fight to let go of self is such a hard one, one I know I struggle with for sure! I also love the 5 minute Friday writing prompt idea, I may have to try this. Thanks for your honesty and encouraging words in this post.

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    • You should definitely give Five Minute Friday a try, Tracy. Next week, I’m going to try to stick to the five minutes! (It was more like 15!–I’ve got some learnin’ to do.)

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  2. Stopping in from FMF…Thank you for sharing your heart. It isn’t easy to die to self everyday and submit to the Lord’s will. To be willing to follow His leading in our lives is something we all struggle with. Thank you for being transparent.

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    • So glad you stopped by! This topic was very near to my heart this week. God has been speaking loud and clear. Thanks for your comments, Renae. Blessings to you in your writing journey.

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  3. Well that is very timely for me as one of the biggest things I took away from the conference I attended this week was the admonition to just say yes. So many times I say no out of fear and so I must work on becoming willing. Thanks for the thought provoking post!

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  4. “This willingness to let go of SELF and live in beautiful freedom of following YOU!”

    This is what I do want. I can get kind of self-centered, thinking of my own comfort and rest, but I want to be willing to follow where and when God leads.

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  5. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly today, Sabra. I have been right where you are a lot recently. Am I really willing? To let go of me so more of Him can come in…and in turn go out? That’s my prayer, as well. Hugs and blessings.

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    • Thank YOU, Meredith, for encouraging me to join Five Minute Friday. It is an interesting and exciting exercise–great practice. Need to work on my time, though. God has certainly been working on me in the area of obedience. So glad to be able to share what He’s teaching me.

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